The water beneath the alabaster vehicle was so still, you might mistake it for a puddle instead of a sea . It was barely creeping by the row of my rower, and it seemed more like it slid along with it than being pushed by it. My left arm was already deep in it when I woke up, and I could feel a thick, oily, viscous substance sliding by my palm. When I woke up to look at it, everything about it screamed water- the color, how it flowed in the opposite direction, the crystalline surface in which I could mirror my face.

-”My face”, I quickly thought afterwards, after recalling that I remembered nothing. Who was I? Where? Why was I in a boat? And‌ who was owner of the craft-

Slowly, I turned my face back at him… her… it? I couldn’t even tell at the first glance, and every time I tried to look at the rower, all I could see were blurs and flashes of light. Not blinding ones, but shiny enough to make me want to wipe my dry eyes with my… missing sleeve? From my missing shirt? 

I didn’t notice when I first woke up but I was dressed in a white gallo dress, which I never remember owning, putting on, or how I got it. I quickly turned from a confused, scared, puppy to a perplexed feral cat, scrounging around, searching for a clue, a meaning…

-” Calm, calm… and spread your wings, little one. You fulfilled your previous purpose. We’re just moving on to the next one.”

The rower finally spoke in a voice that came around me, not at me. They had a soft, slow, nurturing voice, but that creeped me out even more than if they had the tongue of a mad devil. I wanted to ask a question, but it interjected and simply moved on.

-” Just like before, you drowned your previous successes in the river, then moved on to the next one on the list. It’s in front of you, touch it and it all makes sense.” It slowly raised the paddle from the river to point towards a space in front of me. There, where I could only see dry wood and dust, now was a golden parchment which dripped with glittering dust and growling sounds. Tiny voices, speaking in unison, all of them calling for a familiar name that my mind didn’t know, but my heart felt. 

As promised, moments and pieces came to the nuggin’. I now know my name, my mission, and why I’m doing it. I also know why there’s dust dripping from my dress, or why I could float. The last part I found thanks to the list, but it was amazing how easily I forgot I had wings that carried me all over the worlds I visited.

With my thoughts back in their box, and myself back in me, I felt grateful. Because, while it happened every time I did the song and dance, the urge to spread my translucent wings and fly was childlike and wondrous. I wanted to giggle like a newborn who had just found out that things move and make noise while I play with them. 

The rower said nothing, just knew what I wanted, needed to do and already had some tips for me- “Don’t rush straight upwards, you’ll hit the ceiling again. And use it like a muscle, warm them up a little beforehand. It helped the other times.” I learned I made a lot of mistakes and that they were prepared to deal with my resets over and over again. Neither of us counted in years, minutes or seconds, but most of our lives were spent like this, in each other’s weird company.

At first, I only tried to lift myself off the ground, just a few centimeters. It felt amazing!

Afterward I tried to, gradually, increase the distance, and transform the centi into deci, with the goal being to reach just meters. The rower only checked on me a few times, keeping a tight grip on the paddle in case I needed to grab onto something.

My slow ascend brought me closer and closer to the ceiling of the cave, which at first I thought was also formed by the carved rock formation. But, just like with the river, nothing was like it first seemed. The surface of the walls and top was perfectly flat, curving in aches. And it was made of obsidian glass, smooth to the touch, but tough to hit. My head tested it before I could properly analyze it. I remembered now that I usually hit my head in the same place, and the bump made me realize I had probably experienced this pain a thousand times beforehand. 

The world was strange, and nothing like I expected of it, but so was my understanding of it. I thought in terms of how the people I helped thought of it, but now I know that they, and I, were wrong about it. I’m happy, though, that I finally get why I keep throwing away all of my experiences in the river. Here, they never actually drown or float away. It’s my special place, where I can keep them safe, and visit whenever I need and want to see them. 

I turn towards the rower, who picks up a second paddle and speeds up the boat along the river. It understood that I was prepared now for whatever came next, my next “patient”, so to say. I was curious, though, about what or whom I was supposed to help. And why?

-” Tell me, Rower, is it any different from the last one?”

-” Can’t say, I’m not privy to what you do. Does it matter, though?” 

I guess after all was said and done; it didn’t really matter. The rower kept quiet for the rest of the ride, and so did I. It was comfortable now. Relaxing.